Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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