I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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