So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
