Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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