I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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