is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
