You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
