If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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