OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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