fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Everything about him screamed your future.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
