She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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