haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
