I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
