i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
