Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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