I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
