Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have tasted many bathrooms
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
