His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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