yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
