I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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