Nicole vs. Life
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Even my vagina gasped.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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