I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Need sex. Gaining weight.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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