FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
