you win again, gameday.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
