Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
