i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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