It's Friday. Sex?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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