I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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