That's intense
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
