Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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