i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
