dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
