I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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