Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
