His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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