I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
