He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
home. puking in laundry basket.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Holy shit dude........stairs
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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