I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
she woke up with a sticky ear
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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