You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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