woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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