Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
