i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
