I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
