Your face is a jimmy john
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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