It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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