She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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