It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
