I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
