Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
