that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
