a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
