I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
